Ross offers advice for dealing with the ‘calling out culture’

The key to healing the rampant divisiveness and rebuilding a culture of compassion in the United States is not through conflict and confrontation but through radical love, respect and giving those who we differ with the benefit of the doubt.

That was one of the key messages of the webinar “Calling In, Not Calling Out,” which was presented by award-winning human rights activist Loretta J. Ross on Feb. 17. The webinar, presented by the Office of Inclusive Excellence, was part of the university’s “Let’s Talk About Race” series.

Ross, speaking from her home in Atlanta, used a comprehensive PowerPoint presentation to accompany her comments. During her hour-long talk, she spoke on a range of issues, including white supremacy, the 2020 presidential election, George Floyd, social media, blame, personal responsibility, racial courage, learning “appropriate whiteness,” cancel culture and overcoming personal biases.

“We can’t spend our best energy fighting each other,” she said. “We need to remember we are diverse people who are on the same team, and who have different opinions. We have to invest in each other for our mutual growth in order to really save this democracy.”

Ross, who has 50 years of experience as a social activist, is currently a visiting associate professor at Smith College, where one of her most popular courses is titled “White Supremacy in the Age of Trump.” She has written several books on human justice, including the soon-to be published “Calling In the Calling Out Culture.”

The idea of “calling in” came to Ross when, at her grandson’s suggestion, she joined Facebook about five years ago and was struck by how mean people were to each other on the site. She learned from a student that this public shaming of people for behavior deemed to be unacceptable by a certain segment of the population is known as “calling out.”

Calling in, on the other hand, is more private and respectful. Instead of being an invitation to fight, it is an invitation to a dialogue, with the goal of arriving at accountability for words and deeds.

“Calling in is when you’re in a sufficiently healed place to invest in another person’s growth,” she said. “That means that you can put your response in the parking lot of your brain while you pay attention to the person and help them in fact see themselves more clearly, help them understand the impact of what they have said or done, and really helped both of you learn how to be better together. But it does require not only emotional intelligence on your part, but it also requires an emotional investment.”

Ross noted that educators can play a significant role in moving the country toward unity. One of the reasons Americans are so far apart on so many issues, she said, is that for more than a generation there has been a lack of civics education in U.S. schools. Students do not know enough about human justice issues, and are disengaged from the issues. This can be changed through a transformative learning model, Ross said.

“Transformative learning requires that you’re making a long-term investment into their critical skills of inquiry through an empowerment model. You have to teach literacy about history and help them develop that lifelong commitment to justice,” she said. “Instead of teaching our political perspectives, which I don’t think is necessary, teach them how important developing their integrity is.”

When educators don’t teach students about important political issues and concepts, they’re actually teaching “apathy in the face of injustice,” she said. “And I don’t think that is the outcome for those of us with the great progressive mission statements to teach students how to be engaged in a democracy.”

Students today have been socialized to think that acknowledging people’s differences and talking about them is scary. They have been treated as innocents who need their naiveté preserved at all costs. They are fragile, Ross said.

Instead, they have been taught to be “colorblind” — to pretend to not see differences. But that reinforces racial illiteracy, she said.

In opening remarks before the webinar, President Satish K. Tripathi noted that “the jarring images of the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol (are) still fresh in our memory. So, with our societal fractures laid bare, we are confronted with a moment of national reckoning.

“That's why conversations such as today’s are both timely and necessary,” he said. “Each of us has a critical role to play in healing our country’s deep divisions.”

Ross was introduced by Miriam Thaggert, associate professor of English, College of Arts and Sciences, who pointed out that UB was built on land that is part of Seneca Nation territory.

A question-and-answer session after the presentation was moderated by Carrie Tirado Bramen, director of the UB Gender Institute and professor of English.