Counseling Center offers tips to help sexual-assault victims

To members of the UB community:

Sexual assault, sexual abuse, sexual harassment, stranger rape and date or acquaintance rape are monumental problems for our society. Unfortunately, college campuses are not insulated from these harsh realities. It is highly likely that as a member of a college campus community, you will know someone who is or will be a survivor of rape, assault, abuse or harassment.

As we face this problem, there are important steps we can take to assist someone who has been victimized. If someone who has been raped or assaulted chooses to come to you as a friend for support and assistance, there is much you can do to help:

Note: Both men and women get raped and assaulted. The suggestions below are framed in terms of the woman, since more women report these incidents than men. However, the suggestions are for ALL rape and assault victims.

- Allow her to express her feelings without interruption

- Be patient with silences, as she may be slow in talking

- If she needs help continuing, try repeating back what she has said

- Believe her! A great fear of survivors is that they will not be believed

- Reinforce that the incident was not her fault, no matter what the circumstances

- Comfort her as much as possible verbally

- Beware of physical contact, as she may not want to be touched, but you can always ask if you can hug her. Don't treat her as if she is contagious.

- Provide things that make her feel warm and safe-a blanket, stuffed animal, hot tea

- Make sure she has a safe place to sleep that night

- Do not talk about getting revenge; focus your energy on her and her feelings

- Call Crisis Services hotline for professional guidance (834-3131)

- Go with her for a medical examination immediately-contact Center for Student Health at 829-3316

- To preserve evidence, discourage her from changing her clothes or taking a shower

- Help her get counseling to work through the trauma, even if the rape occurred some time ago

- Let her make her own decisions. You can help her work through her thoughts and feelings, but it is important that she has control over her life and her recovery; support her in whatever she decides to do or not do, even if you disagree.

- Call Sexual Assault Information Line at 645-3411 for options in reporting and resources available

- Be available throughout the next weeks and months-recovery takes much time

- Learn about rape trauma syndrome from the Crisis Services hotline or the Counseling Center so that you know what to expect and can understand her reactions better

- Respect her rights to privacy and do not tell others of the rape without her consent

- Seek support for yourself to work through this; it is natural to feel great stress when supporting a rape survivor-talk to someone "safe," a counselor, friend at another school or parent about your thoughts, feelings and needs

Rape, abuse and harassment are community problems that only can be diminished if our community stands together to support those who have been victimized.